Allison's Private Journal

1:18 AM
2/22/03

Dear Journal,

OMG I met a guy on the cruise!!! Well, it was fun while it lasted, but unfortunately I didn’t get a s/n, phone #, nothing, which means that I’ll most likely never see him again. And guess why I didn’t get any of these… yup that’s right. Mom. I’ll explain that part later. I seriously think he’s my soulmate, it’s so awesome whenever I’m w/ him. Oh yeah, his name is Tom and he’s from Staten Island, NY.
So here’s some info: He is 16, a junior in highschool (3 years older than me ;) ), he’s only 5’3″, he has a mowhawk (not as bad as it sounds, it looks pretty hot when he lets it down a little), plays hockey, is pretty much punk but is the nicest guy I’ve ever met (so incredibly proper, like the biggest gentleman; like he always opens doors for you and is just so great), and is probably also the easiest guy to talk to that I’ve ever met. So why does he like me instead of Becca, Kerri, or Nikki? no clue, but I loved it.

So I guess I should give the lowdown on how we met. Well, it was at the little outdoor rec. area where the pingpong tables and shuffleboard are. Us 3 girls (no Nikki) were just standing there talking when I saw him playing mini golf. The ball rolled over to me like twice so I picked it up and gave it to him. (Forgot something: Becca told me she thought he had a mowhawk (had a hat on) so I asked him and he told me yeah.) He seemed really nice right there so I told Becca and Kerri a few min. later that we should talk to him. Nikki came over then and said she’d go, so we waited while she introduced herself and told him we wanted to meet him. So they came over and Nikki introduced all of us to our new buddy Tom. He seemed very friendly and kept up a really good conversation. I was sitting next to him on the lifejacket container thingy, kind of just asking him questions about himself (ex/ me: you’re not goth right? Tom (+ laughs from girls): (laughs) no, definitely not goth. ~ goes on to explain how goth + punk are so different. another funny question about if he’s ever worn black nailpolish (answer: oh no) yada yada yada. So, after that we all hung out together and had lots of fun, you know just doing w/e.

So next day, Weds., is Coco Cay day. We see him at the beach and just say a quick hi. Later that night, after supper, we meet up and confirm we’re all going to the movies. So we walk around and hang out at the Viking Lounge (me, Tom and Becca) for a little while. By now I’m really getting to like him and everyone we’re w/ is talking about this guy (aka Tom) whose all sweet on me. So @ the movies I sat next to him and we just had a lot of fun like making fun of the movie + talking (it was The Tuxedo). We went straight to bed after.

So then comes Thursday, last day of our cruise. I can’t wait to take pictures with everyone (especially Tom) and exchange s/n’s, maybe even phone #’s w/ my New York love interest. lol. So after shopping at Key West, we hooked up w/ Tom and just hung out. Oh jeez, rewind. On Weds., I ended up having some alone time w/ him while we played pingpong for about an hour. He asked about Massachusetts, what its like, and I couldn’t really say to much (not very quick) so I asked about New York. He told me that he goes into the city on weekends, like him + his friends will go into chinatown or little Italy. He told me about their malls (best in the world he says) and the underground subway. We talked about so much, like how he plays hockey and wants to go to college in Massachusetts so he can play there. I guess he’s been getting letters from Tulsa asking him to go there, but he’s not sure about it. The whole convo just opened up tons of new doors.

K, back to Thursday. Then we all split up because me + Becca had to go to dinner soon. We figured out later that he and Phil, Becca’s little crush hehe, had second seating for dinner. We found him walking up on the deck around 10, hung out for an hour and took poleroids with the teen center’s camera (one of which will most likely be in this journal when it comes off my mirror). So we go to the movie and Becca only goes in 2 seats meaning that I’m gonna be split up from Tom unless I like ask her to switch. So we’re watching Signs and Tom is a lot more quiet than the day before. So, about 20 minutes to the end, Mrs. M. comes in and tells Becca that she should come do some kareoke. She says she’ll be 5 min. so I just stay in my regular seat. 10 min later she’s still not their, but instead of just scooching over I just lean over the seat to talk to Tom. She misses the whole ending, so I’m thinking that we’ll go up to the bar get one last drink and chill (maybe kiss too lol).

So we walk out together and guess who’s there–Mom. She’d seen Becca and thought she’d left so we could be alone! I was so embarrassed. Becca was like, “It wasn’t her fault,” just sticking up for me, and I felt like such an idiot. We just said goodnight really quick at my floor because Mom was like ya it’s time for bed. I didn’t even get his s/n, not 1 picture. I thought I’d most likely see him in the morning so I figured it would be OK. It wasn’t. I didn’t see him once, and even though Nikki did, she didn’t get any info for me. I thought I was going to cry all morning.

It’s so weird because I’ve never felt this way about any boyfriend, let alone someone I knew for 4 days (actually I only knew Tom for about 3 days). I’m just so mad that I didn’t get anything. Now my chances of talking to him again are practically gone, and when am I going to visit NYC? the whole thing is so depressing, it makes me hurt all over. Oh yeah, I just found out today that he told Nikki + Kerri that he likes me last night before we went to the movies. aaaahhhh!!! good news, but shoulda known that earlier! I’m so depressed today, really, and it sounds totally stupid because I’d only known him for less than a week, but I really think I was (and maybe still am) in love.

Guess I finally know what it’s like to have a broken heart.

—–

When I first ran through this entry today, I laughed at my former self for being naive enough to call a 3-day, non-physical teenage fling something as strong as love, but let us pay mind to the detail that not-so-little-anymore Allison maintained this relationship without the use of virtual communication for three fucking days on a cruise vacation. THREE DAYS. I live with my boyfriend now, who I am deeply in love with, and I am not sure our relationship would survive three days without texts, calls, and those adorable Facebook messenger kitty stickers. Based on this fact alone, I must declare that my nearly fourteen year old self, although a bit extreme in calling this love, was right to put this time with Tom on the pedestal she did.

The story of Tom marks the most crucial turning point in my adolescence–the inciting incident of my love life, if you will. For that, I will leave you with minimal commentary, as this story permeates every following entry on relationships, my pre-Matt mindset towards dating and meeting new people, and my time-tested, ethereal connection with Chris Carrabba of Dashboard Confessional. I hope it has been worth the wait.